’ I shared the feeling. Jan asked a favor: ‘Can Ron and I spend the night here at 3i?’ I said: ‘Yes. When?’ Jan said: ‘Let me talk with Ron.’ Hot Tub 2. Joan, Ellen, Linda, Robin and Ann arrived at three. We moved to the hot tub. The air temperature was cold. The two banks of heat lamps made the changing area quite pleasant and everybody loved the water. We stayed in the tub about one half hour and then adjourned to the living room sofa. We stayed dressed. Jan and Candy joined us at four. Candy suggested that we undress. We did. Everyone was very comfortable. The session broke up about five. The girls decided that it was getting cold for the hot tub and that being late in the semester that we would postpone these gatherings until the spring. Ann drove everybody but Joan back in the SUV. Joan again. Joan asked: ‘How come you stay limp when you are with all of us nude but now that you are with just me you are fully hard?’ I answered: ‘Just lucky I guess. Actually I think my body is. I remember my middle name being Martha, that was my Grandma's name. They told me it was Mary."Now I can remember being in, I guess it was first grade, and learning how to spell my name. The teacher wrote it out for me and everyone on a big piece of paper. She posted all of the names above the blackboards. I had to learn to copy it until I could write it without looking."I really remember that piece of paper. I remember it saying, Tracy Miller."The Social worker hit me and told me I was saying my name wrong. When I yelled at her my name is 'Tracy Miller!' she hit me again and yelled right back at me, 'Get it right!'"She repeated, 'Your name is Tracy Miltner, ' over and over. We fought back and forth until she gave me a sharp slap across my face that sent me reeling. I never did that again."I was ten, very upset and quite unruly. So from then on, everywhere I moved or was transferred they drummed into me my name was, Tracy Miltner, and that was that."I remember seeing my birth.
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